Monday, March 29, 2004
Silly little thing called LOVE!
We fall in love with different people through different stages in our lives. The degree of love with each is different and so is our approach. From one man to next we became bolder and eventually, wiser. Looking back at the men in our past, it seems so long ago from our first crush. When you first fell in love, you knew absolutely nothing about it. You were confused, excited, shy, and let's face it, scared as hell about the feelings stirring up inside you. After a few fleeting moments (which were actually just a few weeks) you got over the first two or three guys. Then you look back, laugh at it, giggle with a few girlfriends, and probably talk endlessly about the new guy who gave a pass at you in the cafeteria. While all this was happening, your mind unconscientiously replays your motives, emotions, attractions, and approaches to get these men. In a sense, your brain actually creates a checklist of the things that worked and did not work. So when the next guy comes, you feel tingly all over, even queasy, but familiar - all because you've fell in love before and the territory becomes easier to navigate.
Still scary and confusing though.
So where does 'silly' come in? You become silly when you feel that familiarity in the form of 'boldness', when you try things you never did before because it might just work in your favor or because it feels reckless, careless, even impulsive. Amidst the silliness, you have become wiser with each step because you evolve. You evolve because your strategy changes and your approach differs from one to the next.
For a time you will also feel like an expert at falling in love because you've become so familiar with it. In reality, you're familiar because you repeat what you've done before, scrolling through that checklist in your mind and just add a few changes here and there, disregard risks by investing more emotions, yet unchanging in your approach.
This is because you've grown tired of the game. You've become comfortable with your last two or three experiences and say to yourself 'nothing really new ever happens'. Truth is, you never changed your approach, thus its unlikely for the result to change as well. If the formula did not work before, what are the chances it will miraculously produce an equation in your favor?
So you realize this. You decide to do something really different, something bold, something sillier than ever that its not you at you. So something new eventually happens to you. You like it. You think to yourself 'this is it!'.
Well if it is or is not it, is not the point. The point is, when you enter a relationship, you must be clear with yourself 'what is my motive?' If what moves you to enter a relationship is to feed your desire - to be happy, selfish as it may seem - then you acquire your goal. You evolve because you gained the happiness you wanted in that relationship. Even if the relationship failed to stand the torrents that come its way, you never failed because you have achieved what you wanted in the first place. Relationships fail when your motives change. Our motives do change without us realizing it. We do not even think about it, it just happens.
If you enter a relationship because you are in dire search of 'the one' then you are in serious distress if you fail. And you will fail most of the time. For 'the one' is only one, hence all the men who went before are failed attempts. With every failure, your strength wanes, your faith dissipates, your hopes become faded memories of the past, your beliefs become the twisted lies of bitterness, your hands forget the soft touch of the most calloused hand, your eyes see no color, your truths are trapped in a system created by those who fell farther and deeper than your own hell.
Why is it that when relationships fail, we blame the other party because they have changed? We accuse them of violating that sacred word called 'love'. What we fail to do is look inside us and check if we are the ones who changed.
It's easier isn't it to point our finger on someone else? When a relationship is over, it mostly is on some level only. You can still save what you can. Sometimes the damage is too much that breaking of all ties is best to heal the wounded heart.
Relationships evolve too like the people it binds together. Everything is so dynamic that when you look back everything seems so unbelievably different. Sometimes you wish things never changed and sometimes you are glad that they turned out the way they are now.
Everything is in place inasmuch as we want them to be different. We are not going in circles as others might believe them to be. We are going in spirals bouncing up and down, back and forth, heading to a direction our actions dictate.
And this simple word called 'love' that devastated civilizations and created the most beautiful baby born out of my womb, demands nothing more or less than our total submission to the beauty it brings.
And in all its maddening complexity, we harness all its power, forage all its energy, infuse in us anything and everything it can be, and create in us the very unique individual we have always longed to be.
Goddess Morwen at 6:13 PM
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Rachel, your subconscious mind is driven most by Imagination
You have a deep desire to use ideas to change the world around you. This drive influences you far more than you may realize on a conscious level.
You love to brainstorm and imagine new possibilities. The world is a fuller, richer place because you can contribute new ideas to any experience. Your natural curiosity inspires those around you and encourages them to come up with ideas they wouldn't have discovered without your help.
Your psyche is very rich; the more you learn about it, the more you will understand who you really are.
Goddess Morwen at 5:35 AM
Sunday, March 14, 2004
You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator.
"And The Goddess planted the acorn of life.
She cried a single tear and shed a single drop
of blood upon the earth where she buried it.
From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into
the world."
Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek),
Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian).
The Goddess is associated with the concept of
creation, the number 1, and the element of
earth.
Her sign is the dawn sun.
As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic
individual and people are drawn to you.
Although sometimes you may seem emotionally
distant, you are deeply in tune with other
people's feelings and have tremendous empathy.
Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your
own self. Goddesses are the best friends to
have because they're always willing to help.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Goddess Morwen at 8:50 AM
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Glengary
If I were to describe
the one I love the most
best I can do
I'll say it in a few words
Someone wonderfully colorful
tasty and sweet
heart-warmingly pure
alive and free
Someone unbelievably true
magnificent yet simple
strong but sensitive
naive yet learning
Someone who carefully teaches
follows the lead
will defy all odds
quietly listens
Someone so irresistible
so drawn to me
a pair of kaleidoscope eyes
and the kindest smile
Someone with nature so warm
fills nights and days
words so endearing
takes your breath away
Someone so calm
melt the heart of ice
huggable bear
sleep in my arms
The list goes on you see
maybe till eternity
for words cannot express
the love he has for me
Goddess Morwen at 9:28 AM
