A professor from UP was recommending MindGym to a classmate when I overheard their conversation. A few hours later I saw a post in one of my many yahoogroups, a phone number and email of MindGym. Googling was faster so I searched for their site to check feedback about the center when I came across a tribute to a name so achingly familiar. Mr. Mabuhay Alonzo had died and I never knew. He was one of my favorite teachers from UP. He saw greatness in me I never knew I had. He, at the time of our last conversation, was saddened by the deterioration of nationalism in children and the youth. To him, teachers must be vigilant in teaching nationalism in the social sciences but how would such be done if the subject is diminishing? If the social sciences in the elementary and high school merge with other subjects to save time and money?
The idea haunts me still.
Such blog elevated MindGym in another level in my heirarchy of respectable institutions. Suddenly it became a familiar place to be, somewhere I would probably meet more people with like-minds as I. After all it was a professor I knew who first uttered the name MindGym. I'd like to believe we have the same minds (winks).
Family Support
Cleober is my avid supporter. He suggested I review in a center as I might get valuable information deprived of self-reviewees and even financed the review (and my masteral degree hihi) as he is a believer of preparation for any event that could change our lives personally and as a family. This called for such times and his support went all the way. He also financed my mother's flight to Manila just so I had a personal Math and Physics tutor. My daughter in her 6-year-old mind prayed to God everyday that mommy would pass the exam along with Barbie to find her dress and our dog Cosmo to always be in good health. My 11-year-old would come to an agreement with me to top the LET and he to belong to the top10 in his class. I can't believe my luck. I was carried by my family on their backs all the way to a dream come true.
Study-Buddies, Best Friends Forever
She smiled at me after I submitted my diagnostic test. It felt warm to see someone still smiling after a tiring and grueling test. We met again on our first day of review at MindGym. I was given a welcome and kindness from their group of already five people. In short, I was an excess but that didn't stop our group from bonding. No matter how bonded a group is, there will always be that one person you are drawn to - either the person next to you or someone familiar to you. Acel would pull up a chair for me when I'm late (which is like every meeting or so) or would offer her delectable baon of fresh bread. She had this homey feel about her that I felt the need to show her the same courtesy she has given me.
When asked to choose a study-buddy, we were told it would be best if we chose someone in same field as ours so it would be easier to study. I looked around at the room for someone in the same field as I but I honestly didn't feel connected to them. More so I had a friend who expressed she was in badly need of help to pass the LET. I didn't think twice. I knew at that point on Acel would be my study-buddy. She happened to be a major in the subject that was my waterloo. I had simply justified that it would be a mutual relationship between us, that we will be helping each other out.
Reviewing our lessons were not the only things we shared. We had our novenas together, lunches that became dinners, intimate family secrets and the power of my mother's knowledge and wisdom about the teaching profession. Just this past weekend my husband and I traveled to Oriental Mindoro just to visit her and her family.
Taking the LET
The exam was hard! No amount of preparation would have been enough to know all the answers in the exam. However, all the preparation and advise MindGym gave us kept us on our toes, to never be complacent, to be ready for anything. While working my brains out during my exam, I wondered about Acel and our study group. In my heart I prayed they would all remember to be calm and read the questions thoroughly.
Another tiring and grueling exam. But that was the real exam and it was over.
A few hours later after the exam, Acel appeared gloomily. What she didn't know was that I was very happy to see her. To go to an after-exam party even though your head is aching and your heart breaking, means to me that she cared about her exam and she probably followed test-manship to the dot and gave it her all.
Waiting Game
The waiting part was bearable at first then it got ridiculously gruesome nearing the expected date of announcement of result. Sleep was fleeting and hypertensions shot up to the sky. And when I thought I couldn't bear the wait any more, the day would turn to night and then day would come again.
I let it go and decided that shopping was a better way to release my anxieties. In the middle of the candies and chocolate aisle of the supermarket, Acel sent the good news through text - the LET results were out and she passed.
We both did. And all members of our study group.
Thank God for MindGym: I passed the LET and gained a bff.
Thank you mom for being my inspiration, my teacher, my mother.
Most of all, thank you my dearest Cleober for always coming up with our best laid plans.
In the end, life is good. God is Great.
Goddess Morwen at 6:49 AM
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Goddess Morwen at 4:00 PM
Goddess Morwen at 3:10 PM
Friday, December 28, 2007i miss writing here...i seem to always not have the time to log in and say things as freely as i used to...most of the time i'd rather sleep than rant...so i keep everything inside hoping they're gone when i wake up...
something is wrong yet i can't put my finger on it...i feel so grounded that i've forgotten how to fly...
i feel so retarded...a smart retarded...i'm tired of always having to beg...always trying to get things through by going around bushes that inevitably just blocks my message entirely...i just don't feel i get through...
i'm a girl and i like to be wooed...why do i have to always spell it in a person's face? at times i'd like to be surprised too, and to be pampered with chocolates and roses...
Goddess Morwen at 7:57 AM
Friday, November 24, 2006Finally I was able to write a short story. It's been 3 years since I last wrote one. It feels really good. I call it "At Death's Door Inn" about a couple who stopped by the inn during a really bad snow storm.
Now I'm writing "The god in the subway" about a girl who encounters the transformation of an ordinary man into a god.
My dreams are not for sale but they are yours to read just pay for publication, hehehe.
Goddess Morwen at 5:50 PM
Goddess Morwen at 5:50 PM
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all
Goddess Morwen at 9:21 AM
Monday, November 13, 2006The Studio Photographer
Yes that's what I am now. It doesn't pay much where I work but at least I have a job while going through school. The perks has paid off in a sense that I learn a lot of new stuff and practice photography at the same time.
But the bad is...my husband/boyfriend seems to have shorter patience and is becoming cold. And I hate it.
In a way I'm not that excited about work anymore. Maybe I should just stay as the wind beneath his wings. I feel he was much more happier with that setup.
Kung pwede ko lang bawiin kontrata ko...
Goddess Morwen at 8:45 PM
Thursday, October 12, 2006I am having the urge to write. Literarily.
Yet I have two papers due tomorrow at school. Funny that even though I know I should prioritize my papers for school I feel I should let my passions drive me today. And I will until I feed off the urge. Then maybe I can go on working on my papers for school.
And this short story I dedicate to you.
Goddess Morwen at 3:52 AM
Tuesday, October 10, 2006I managed to finish my 2nd paper for my EDRE261 class. Buzzer-beater! My teacher was on her way out when I got to the college. I have two papers to submit for my two other subjects. It's highly unlikely for it to be passed within the time frame. I'm sure it will be another buzzer-beater.
Life is exciting and I'm not always the one to finish first, in all aspects of my life. But it doesn't matter. Although there are times when I wish I was ahead of everybody else. Now is one of those times when I have no choice but to look back and assess my life. Is this the kind of life I always wanted? Is this what I deserve? Or is this just a phase I have to be in because its a preparation for something else?
My mind wreaks of infinite possiblities and multitudes of things to do. But I still feel left behind. Later today I'll go jogging at UP so that I can take my mind off things and have some kind of solitude. Maybe I can cry out loud somewhere near the lagoon and don't have to keep all my fears and tears inside.
One day I'll be ahead.
Goddess Morwen at 11:06 PM
Monday, October 09, 2006Final class requirements for this sem is driving me out of bounds! I barely sleep working on them and now I'm getting sick...
I wish time would move fast forward so I'm over this phase...hahahaha...
2nd semester is just around the corner, another set challenges...oh boy!
Goddess Morwen at 1:21 PM
Friday, October 06, 2006I passed my exams! Yippeeeeee... But I still have papers to submit. Damn I needed a vacation, a rest day today so I can finish up everything. But.
I guess I'll have to multi-task then.
This is such a crazy day. I wish I slept so at least I could rise up to the challenge much, MUCH better.
Goddess Morwen at 7:56 AM
Wednesday, October 04, 2006I wanna be a teacher promise! But they all want teaching experience...hello? How can I start teaching if they don't give me a chance? Grrrr...
I think I'll talk to my favorite teacher, friend, and mentor for advice. Maybe she can direct me to a school who can accept me.
Goddess Morwen at 5:29 PM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006Hello to everybody I know and who know me. Hello to all passing by...
I have an announcement to make! Ta-dah! We now have a website for our photography gig. Please, please, please come for a visit and tell all those you know... come to thesmileco.blogspot.com
A lot of it is still under construction but its a start. Hopefully we can bring in more clients this way and we get to make our dreams come true!
Thanks so much!
Goddess Morwen at 2:51 PM
Friday, August 04, 2006 The Glass Assignment
I thought it would take me half a day to finish the glass assignment. I woke witha start because I never intended to sleep without finishing the project. I stared blankly at the time, 6:41 AM. It did not register at all. I had slept all night.
I had planned everything the night before so I didn't panic much. I stood and got started on the light setup. The light was ready I just needed to get the right light. Then I made sure the camera was mounted on a tripod and ready to fire. The glass itself needed much cleaning because it looked so ordinary. I placed it on a table and it looked terrible. I decided to put a mirror on top of the table and put the glass on top. The mirror made my glass look so elegant, YEY!
I took a look through the viewfinder and adjusted to 48mm. I had wanted to use the magic of 50mm but I made good at 48mm. I checked my settings by making sample shots and they were of course dark and terrible. When I became happy with the sample shots, I went out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I took out an ice tray and cleaned out some ice so they'd be perfect-looking. Next challenge was the ice drop.
Inside the room I equipped myself with rags and water to refill the glass. Funny thing was how to shoot while dropping ice into the glass. The trigger went with Cleo to OSMA :-(
To hell with it!
I focused on the glass then set the lens to manual. With my right hand, I dropped the ice. The left ready to press the shutter. My eyes away from the viewfinder but never leaving my sight from the water spill because it might reach any of the equipment. Finally when I pressed the shutter I speak in the words of my teacher... aba ginoong maria mabuo sana!
I thought I'd make it in about a hundred shots but made it in a few. I had to. My daughter was screaming her lungs out for me to pick her up.
I got so excited I told Cleo. I wanted it to be a surprise but even I could not believe I was able to pull it off.
So right now I am anxiously waiting for him to arrive so I can show him my shots. Hope he likes them as much as I love them.
Goddess Morwen at 8:05 PM
Wednesday, August 02, 2006Feeling Sick
I would really feel better if my illness were something like bacterial or viral where it could go away after a few days or couple of weeks, but hypertension?
I feel like I'm floating and everything I see is too damn bright, overexposed! Hahahahaha...
It's really depressing when all you can do is hold your head securely or else if it moves the pain reverberates all over your head as if it will explode. 180/110. I could have a stroke anytime, shit!
And then you fool yourself that if you rest it will go away. Actually I'm so drug dependent. I could be an addict now that I realize it...hah! The drugs I take don't taste good, and they make your muscles tired so you sleep.
I would like to sleep now. My back muscles are all yearning for the bed. Good night everyone.
Goddess Morwen at 7:41 AM
Friday, July 21, 2006Masakit. Mahapdi.
Tangina asan ba mga kaibigan ko? Aliwin nyo naman ako Nang makalimutan ko na dapat paminsan-minsan ako'y maging tao.
Baka bukas patay nako di nyo man lang nalaman ang tsismis ng buhay ko. Sana makialam kayo. Sana.
Goddess Morwen at 4:39 AM
Wednesday, July 19, 2006::cleober:: "proud to have a biker babe" said: i always look forward to going home... kasi i 'm excited to see and learn new things that badette has discovered.. and syempre you making kwento about it.
::cleober:: "proud to have a biker babe" said: i love you so much... thank you for working on my dream... and most of all for taking care of me...
::cleober:: "proud to have a biker babe" said: i'm happy i found you and i wont ask for more
Shet...I kennat...I kennat ask for more...I love you! Grabe na ito!
Goddess Morwen at 6:10 PM
Goddess Morwen at 6:18 AM
Wednesday, July 05, 2006It's official! We are now TSC Photography Center! woohoo....I feel much much closer to the dream now. Hopefully we can make things ready by August. I love this life!
Goddess Morwen at 8:00 AM
Saturday, July 01, 2006I just finished editing the prenup pics of Keith and Ice. ANDAMI!!!! I never thought we'd make those many pictures for the prenup but we did. Imagine how many more for the wedding! Hopefully we'll be able to finish processing the pics fast so we can get more projects.
If there's anyone out there needing a wedding photographer please don't hesitate to ask! I need more projects this July to make my 60k mark. I am in badly need of cash.
I'm out of job and working on a business plan. Please help!!!!
Goddess Morwen at 6:19 PM
Tuesday, June 27, 2006Prenup ni Keith at Ice bukas. Shet, there was a time I thought this will never happen...
Life treats us so unexpectedly and time flies by so fast that each moment we will capture tomorrow will be captured forever...unless mawala ko ung file. Sana wag or papatayin ako ng lola Ice!!!
I'm feel excited and inggit kasi next week bride na ang lola mo. Well technically bride na sha ngayon da ba?
Haaayyyy...ako wife na hilaw...hihihi...kasi di pa ko kasal pero ganun na rin yun...pero dream ko pa rin maging bride noh...
Ayan nasa cloud 9 na ulit ako dreaming the night away....
Goddess Morwen at 8:08 AM
Thursday, June 22, 2006Student Body
I had fun in school today even though my teachers are the head of their departments, strict, and plain scary. One flipped off when one of my classmates was late in class and still decided to join in. I guess he didn't know our teacher is more frightening than the abu sayyaf. So there it is we were sent home early because she felt we were not interested in her class, she had an excuse to assign a paper instead, one that would make my thesis topic shy - The Bridge Program. And to top it all she wanted the research paper in dialectic or socratic format.
I have new friends. I like Car the most because she was nice. And Tina too because she stood out and took charge. And Hannah who is a 26-year-old teacher at La Consolacion, single and very envious of those who have kids already. One day she will have hers, she has the makings of a good mother.
I spent P97 today. Fare to and from school cost me P65, and 32 on food and drinks. I have an allowance of an undergraduate student. I'm sure I'll be spending more next week when I have to claim the papers I photocopied and the cd that has the readings for my 226 class.
School is a welcome repose to my very depressing mood lately. I hope I keep the fire burning.
Goddess Morwen at 7:34 AM
Tuesday, June 20, 2006I have so much to say but can't say them anyway. I'd like to runaway from it all. Hideaway. Disappear from the face of the earth.
And talk to the angels about my woes, maybe they'd listen.
Goddess Morwen at 4:54 AM
Saturday, June 17, 2006Sabog na naman utak ko. Lito, ngarag, pagod. Sana masabi ko mga hinanakit ko kaso baka maging issue pa. Bad trip sa work. Ang init pa potah. Di pa tapos ung sinusulat ko eh deadline na bukas. Konti na lang bibigay nako. Un lang kailangan lang may labasan ng emoshon at napupuno na ng hinanakit puso ko.
Goddess Morwen at 4:01 AM
Tuesday, June 06, 2006Work, School, Passion, Mother, Wife
Life is a circus. And I am the juggler. I cannot however juggle too many things or I will lose control. I can take for now but one becomes weary trying to take on so many. So I'm thinking that work and passion should be one and then make school join the passion area so I can concentrate on Passion, Mother, Wife. Doesn't that seem easier?
But getting there isn't.
So I'm thinking that I should do the transition for work and passion this 2006 so that by 2007 I can incorporate school and passion. I give myself until August to Xact then have a vacation in September. When I get back from vacation I'll go 100% to our business venture, get my feet wet and then take 12 units for 2nd semester when school starts.
When 2007 arrives, hopefully a better year for our photography business. Hope we can gnerate more income from the business so that I can finance Glen's tuition and my tuition fee too.
Then maybe after that the juggling act is less because I can concentrate on just three. I feel that I need to be more mother to my kids and more wife to Cleo. Something in me tells me that life is not forever and if I don't take care of them more I might miss the opportunity of doing so. Kids become adults and will go their own way. If I neglect my husband someone else might decide to take care of him and take my place.
Maybe when the business is a bit stable, we could also start working on our other dreams...like that house on the beach.
Goddess Morwen at 3:50 AM
Tuesday, May 23, 2006Love,
Wishing you the best this friday. Deadma na ibang kalaban mo sa contest. In my heart you are the biggest winner. Enjoy your new phone and I'll enjoy using your old phone, hehehehe. I'm overly excited, I've told almost all my friends, your friends, our family, my classmates and some colleague at work. I had always believed in you and now you are almost there at the pinnacle.
I'll be there at the exhibit and I'll be your biggest supporter! I love you always!
-Ivy
Goddess Morwen at 10:43 AM
Monday, May 15, 2006I'm having a bad day, at work and at home, all because I don't have internet - and that's a BIG thing!
I should be gloomy and moody but only for a while...I have so many things to be happy about!
One of which is a mother's day surprise from my love Cleo, and then there's the family celebration last sunday and then earlier today he dropped by to bring me lunch. Unbelievably sweet!
I really can't concentrate on work...I don't mind my troubles for today...I just feel so loved!
Goddess Morwen at 8:27 AM
Monday, May 08, 2006My love at twilight
My love begins at twilight When light turns into darkness My day begins as night unfolds You are mine whose heart so sweet Whose lips i kiss, whose dreams i live.
Oh love the lamp at my feet Guide my soul in the evening I am taken in by your music I dance in the sound of your song As far as the wind, as wide as the shore.
Yet in my dreams I am solitary Plunging in the depths of night Trapped in waking and sleeping dream Until the morning sun comes I hold you, I love you.
Goddess Morwen at 8:43 AM
Monday, April 24, 2006Summer Getaway
The baby was so happy to jump into the pool that I thought she would pull my hair out when I took her out of the pool to put some sunblock on her. Hahahaha, I put her back in with her tita. And I jumped in too of course!
I was tired, hapless, excited, and happy. I had taken great pictures of daddy and baby, they look so good together. We had great food and lots of coke to quench the thirst. It was such a hot, hot day. The water was even hotter - no kidding!
There were so many people that I thought I wasn't going to enjoy. It was nearing lunchtime and the heat was at its hottest and everybody else was in the shade. Ahah! What opportunity to jump in again! Had a good time with Daddy Ber hanging out at the pool, spending some lazy time.
I wish we were in Galera when its not crowded. Today would have been our 3rd year anniversary since we first ran away together. I miss it.
Goddess Morwen at 6:05 AM
Friday, April 14, 2006LIFE IS TOO SHORT. It is too short to only ever live in the future. It is too short to not take in mere moments. It is too short to not appreciate things until they are gone. It is too short to not go with your gut on a person that just feels right. Right now, I am scared of losing my Cleober. I am scared that I will look back on life thinking I always worried about the future. I am scared that I will miss out on my kids. I am scared that I won't be the person I was born to be. But, most of all, I am scared of looking back on my life thinking it got away from me.
Goddess Morwen at 1:09 PM
Goddess Morwen at 5:33 AM
Monday, April 10, 2006I miss the intimacy. I miss the tenderness and the closeness. Something I was hoping for, was longing for, this last weekend. It came so fleeting as a kiss. And then it was gone.
Suddenly I'm lost for words. I can't seem to remember how to express what I feel.
Goddess Morwen at 10:06 AM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006Graduation
It's graduation time again and I had my fill this morning. It has been a triumphant day!
When I got to QCVille, a few kids and their parents were already there. I got a bit nervous because I thought we were late. We were packed inside the car and couldn't fit, so mom and dad had to take a cab.
Roster of Attendees: Glen the graduate and yaya Anabel the very supportive cousin with a wooden snake Bernadette with yaya Cleo the photographer dad Mom the proud grandma Dad the proud grandpa Me very conscious with the dress.
Yes, they say moms are best-dressed during their children's graduation. And I was there with all smiles because I was the only one in a dress. everybody else was in maong and pants.
Ang Glen was called. His awards were for Best in Math, Language, and Spelling. He was also named Most Punctual. Wow, our clock which is 20 minutes advanced (credits to Cleo) earned Glen an award!
And we all were exhausted.
ButI wasn't just proud. I was and am still grateful. After all the crazy things that happened, we were all there. Our family had the most number of attendees!
And I submitted my paper to Dr. Camara, who was also the school's SpED Consultant.
